Don’t let a cantaloupe spoil your dreams

View out my office window.

It has taken an absurd amount of time for me to stop making excuses and sit down to write. I have had every excuse from ‘I need to paint the hallway’, to ‘I can’t because I am waiting for the holidays to be over.’ So here I am, jumping over the hurdles that I’ve created all on my own.

Truly, I have always wanted to be a writer but instead I followed my dreams of being a chef! So for 15 years I slaved away in kitchens and the struggle was real! I put my heart and soul into the work that I did and in the end it was sucking me dry. I had to find a way out, I needed to stop living a life that wasn’t giving me returns any longer.

In 2014 I landed what was then the job of my dreams, one of many dream jobs. But, I truly couldn’t believe how good this particular job was, I started working as a private chef. The job was fairly unusual as I was working in a household cooking for a single man, but he also had me cooking for the employees at his company. My life changed dramatically; I was no longer working for The Man. I loved working for myself and I thrive as a private chef, my boss was unwaveringly supportive and loved my food.

My destiny, I’ve known for some time is to share food with people. I love sharing tips and tricks. Or hearing the joy when other people tell me about something they made that exceeded expectations or wowed a crowd.

During my time as a private chef, I started a company newsletter. I wanted a place to share facts and nutritional info as well as a recipe, every month. This became my most dreaded task. I truly avoided it at all costs. Yes, I came up with the idea and thought it was a good one. But when the time came every month, I did not want to put it together. The thing is, I actually enjoyed it once I began getting into the facts and testing a recipe.

This was the birth of the blog idea, how to share more ideas and more food with more people. I didn’t have much extra time and being an artist can be incredibly draining, it seemed impossible. However, my husband Alex and I were blessed with an incredible opportunity. Alex was offered a job in Utah and I was able to take time off to write.  We thought this dream would never come true, but it was happening. Now I would have the opportunity to follow yet another dream.

The reality of the situation was much different than anticipated. We ended up moving to a very small town in the middle of the desert. This town has no culinary scene and to find quality fruits and vegetables requires a two-hour drive. I had no idea it would be this bad, or maybe I did but I was avoiding the subject.

While shopping one afternoon in our little town, I was thrilled to find a cantaloupe. It wasn’t just any old cantaloupe but an heirloom variety that I love!

I inspected it to make sure I chose the perfect one. It had to be the right size and weight, fragrant and unblemished. I drove home with all the excitement, thinking I CAN do this food blog! Only to find out that the cantaloupe was bad, really bad. Although the cantaloupe was parading itself as a delight to the senses, the reality was a mealy and flavorless disappointment.

Because of this experience I’ve spent the last 6 months doubting that I can do this in a food desert and expecting myself to fail. I read something recently that Alan Moore said. It brought me back to the heart of why I wanted to do this in the first place. I wanted to share ideas in food with people. My goal wasn’t success, it was bringing food joy to people of the world!

So here it is, it’s the secret to how I got my first dream job in a line of many dream jobs, because our dreams change over time. Mine certainly have, my first dream was to be a chef and I followed that dream to San Francisco. This led to my next dream, because I had matured and wanted more out of life. And then the dream became having time to spend with family and still being able to do what I love. I digress, the point is: I had no fear I just knew I had to do it.

“In order to be able to make it you have to put aside the fear of failing and the desire of succeeding. You have to do these things completely and purely without fear, without desire. Because things that we do without lust of result are the purest actions we shall ever take.” - Alan Moore